I gave a boy everything I had to give

Money I didn’t have, time I couldn’t waste.

when he lost his peace, I found it and dragged it back to him

I showed him another side of the world without ever leaving the city

he told me that I was so kind, so sensitive

that we would fall in love

but after a few months we had a falling out

I decided that we shouldn’t talk anymore

in response to this he told me that I was possessive

that I fall in love too easily

that I’m too sensitive

and now I know what it means when they say that people will hate the very qualities they loved about you

and it will leave you unsure of yourself

and you’ll wonder what changed, was it them? or was it me?

you will question the value of “I love yous”

after seeing how conditional love can be

your first instinct will be to blame yourself

because your love for this person will not once allow you to blame them

it’s rare that people will admit to hurting you

instead they will often frame you as being wrong

or convincing themselves that you are toxic in order to alleviate their own guilt

and if you’ve been kind to them, having little to pull from

they’ll have no option but to turn your better qualities against you

your passion will be newly regarded as overwhelming

your concern will be possessiveness

your kindness will be naivety

your love will be “too much”

but regarding emotion, you cannot love too much

you can only love the wrong person

the more in tune you are with their emotions the more human you will be

we aren’t given feelings to hide away or numb ourselves

we were made to feel

it’s how we interact with everything around us

it’s how we remind ourselves that we are alive

so I resent the idea of being too sensitive

because in a world continually getting colder people will rob you of your warmth

but we need vulnerability

we need people who recognize their own feelings

so we can begin to see the validity in the feelings of others

I resent the idea that I need to change

to harden myself in order to survive in this world

maybe the world is what needs changing

they try to convince us that our minds set precedence over the things we feel

as if we can turn off our emotions and function off logic alone

we will always lose

because we are not machines, we are human beings

and what sets us apart from an assortment of codes and numbers

is our ability to find balance between logic and intuition

so I will not change

I will be too sensitive

and because you can’t find it within yourself to appreciate me

It doesn’t mean I’ve lost my worth.

heart shaped red neon signage
Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s